Hello beautiful humans,
Today I have a new episode out with artist and creative doula Molly.
In this episode Molly describes spirituality as “a safe space I find within myself,” and they describe the easiest ways to access this in their experience is through movement and creative expression.
I have been mulling over this concept. A safe space I find within myself.
When I was little my mind was both incredibly scary and an escape. I was told that god could hear my thoughts, and that those thoughts were being judged as good or bad. Even that I could cause harm, and “sin” though just thinking of something I wasn’t supposed to.
This made my mind a literal mindfield of ideas, thoughts, and feelings to avoid. I placed myself in imaginary settings in my mind as a way of finding safety.
I pretending to be my favorite characters from books because their lives were so orderly and if I was them, I was okay.
I learned how to play the game of gaining approval through choosing the actions, responses, and expressions that were pleasing to those around me.
Removing the layers of programming, and stories that I adopted to survive has been a roller coaster, but something has stood out to me through all of the unlayering of myself:
You may be wearing masks and telling yourself stories in certain areas, but that does not mean you aren’t worthy of being met and loved for exactly where you are at.
Within religion there was an arrival, a stage of perfection we would one day achieve and out lives were meant to be an actual striving for perfection.
And it is that right there that has been the biggest story for me to work on undoing:
There is no arrival, there is no perfection. Spiritual practice is finding that safe space within yourself, and choosing to believe that you, exactly as you are, deserve all the goodness there.
Leaning into that pull of safety and love and allowing it to expand.
The thing about expansion is that not only is it spacious and delightful and lovely, it pushes things that there isn’t room for out of the way.
I think this is at the root of boundaries. It is not about just saying no, and yes. It is about leaning into the love you have in your heart for your existence and breathing life into that love for yourself so it expands to the point that you will not tolerate certain things. Not out of anger or rigidity, but because it no longer makes sense in light of the love that has expanded within you.
So I know you might be thinking, that sounds super beautiful and lovely, but how even do I start with that?
Slowly, gently, kindly.
If you are moving out of a toxic system (dogmatic religion, high control groups, patriarchy, capitalism) then in order to build something new we need to be doing it differently from the root.
You cannot rush to find slowness. You cannot force calm. You cannot shame yourself into healing and growth.
I used to ask my feet how they were doing at the end of the day. And then I started rubbing them with oil while I asked that question, trying to feel both my hands on my feet and the feeling of my feet to my hands. After doing this practice for awhile I remember crying from gratitude because I had spent the summer walking almost everywhere I had to go and I couldn’t believe that my feet were willing to carry me. I felt love for that part of me that had given so much to me.
This expansion of love, the expansion of that safe space within yourself can start really small, and however small it is, it is enough. Fan that flame.
What area of love and safety can you lean into within yourself?
What is calling to you to expand?
My 1:1 Coaching has spots open right now and is a beautiful container for the transformation I am talking about here.
Your brilliant flame only needs space, air, and fuel to burn brighter, to grow as powerful as it has always had the potential to.
If you know this is for you, if you felt your heart tug at these words, click the HERE to set up a free chat with me. I would love to talk with you <3
So much love to you Lovelies,
Christina C, Your Life Coach
