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Who Am I Now?

One of the most intimidating things we face after leaving a toxic situation,( whether it’s religion, your home life, a relationship or a workspace) is the question that sits underneath the surface of every thought:

Who am I now?

When we are in an environment for a long time, especially one that requires that we think less of ourselves in order to stay and belong, we begin to internalize that sh*t.

Hear me: You did what you had to to survive, and you left when you could.

If you internalized these beliefs about yourself it’s because you had to in order to maintain something that met another bigger need for you at that time.

When you see something isn’t working is when you begin the slow process of allowing yourself to see differently, and that takes time because your beautiful system and body does not want you to shut down. It allows you to see when you do and as you do because you are building capacity.

You left when you were able. When you had built up enough capacity to be with the process of leaving.

In the aftermath of leaving you can realize that, wait… that was everything I knew.

I’ll speak in terms of leaving toxic religion because that was the biggest experience I had of this.

From the start of my life I had been beaten down with messages that sounded sunny when delivered but were actually very sinister - Think the happy sounding song with really really sad lyrics (honestly some of my favs but besides the point). As a kid I repeated the sunnyness of it all because I had to, and underneath my body responded with intense dread, anxiety and fear around my own thoughts, actions, desires.

When I eventually left, It was after many years of allowing myself to go slowly and dissect one concept at a time. But then I had to face something: Who was I now?

That religious framework had been my reason, my motivation, my desire, my presence, my mindset, for 20+ years, through every stage of pivotal development.

I spent the next 5 years seeking and exploring, and allowing, and studying, and being, and What I want to share with you is the framework I used, unknowingly, to come to a sense of identity that I hold with confidence. I feel deeply at home within who I am, and I would love for you to feel that too.

I do this in hopes that it allows you to feel seen and supported in your own process of discovery with one of the questions that has haunted humanity for millenia

“who the fuck am I?”

The thing is, we can call ourselves many things over our lifetime, and identify as a lot of things and then those things change.

The sense of identity that I have found through this process is one that is steady underneath all of the changing labels and identities. It is who I am at my essence.

This is where self-relationship comes in.

In relating to me, I have come to know myself. Not in the” I could ace a trivia quiz about myself” way, but in the “I know what my own presence feels like” kind of way. This intimate connection to self is what I have found, and what I hope you find, through this work, because that, my friends is a place to land.

If you’ve felt in your heart “I just don’t know who I am anymore.” or “Who am I really?” Then this might be a really beautiful place for you to begin that exploration.

In coaching I hold you with the energy of non-judgement.

I’m here to support all parts of you as they come up.

Not just the light and the dark, but the weird, the (in my opinion) severely underrated unique aspects of you.

I have the ability to see you through a kaleidoscope lens that sees hundreds of perspectives to mirror back your goodness to you.

The goodness that maybe you have forgotten along the way.

The parts of you that have been devalued for too long.

I see you with the mothers love, to hold you in your complexity.

In this space You will shift and transform because you too will begin to see yourself,

to know who you are,

and to feel

how much you matter.

Click here and let’s chat. I would love to see you.




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