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Old men avoiding being vulnerable

Me too, though.


I spent a lot of time avoiding being vulnerable.


Or at least I thought that’s what I was doing.


I’m sitting here in a coffee shop listening to people chat and there’s a group of older men chatting. They’re mostly complaining about every kind of customer service under the sun.


A thought has come together for me about our shadows that I find comical, and adorably human:


We tend to forget that we go through every stage in life.


Each one of us was once a baby, shitting our pants, drooling and unable to communicate, and no less worthy and deserving for it.


We tend to think that we somehow earn our worth as we become able to do things on our own. The more self sufficient we become, the more worthy we are.

Those needing people, how annoying.


I see this so sweetly in kids who are 7 and 8 and 10 who get annoyed with 3,4, and 5 years olds “They’re annoying and keep saying the same things over and over again.”

You too love, that’s exactly what you did.


You too love.


Every time I see something that annoys me, feel the normal annoyances of getting impatient or irritable at another person I am reminded:


Me too, Love.


Our egos love to create separation between ourselves and others, to avoid that vulnerability of having made a mistake, a faux pau (god only knows if I spelled and used that right and I’m too lazy to check).


The thing is that as our egos separate us from the things we don’t like, we become unable to see them in ourselves: They hid out in our shadow.


And now I have a very humbling bit of information:


Everyone else can see them


And then remember:


The people who love you dearly, also see them, and also love you dearly.


You think you’ve been hiding those things, when really, you’ve only been successfully hiding them from yourself.


This is not discouraging, FAR from it.


This is delightful.


This means, you my darling are just like the rest of us.


You are beautifully connected to this weird and messy human experience, and we adore your humanity. We adore you with your shadow, and even more so when you begin to see it yourself.


Are you ready to sit with the messier parts of you? To accept your whole self (maybe a bit at a time :D)?

Schedule a chat here to see if I can support you in 1:1 Self Relationship Coaching. I adore you in all your humanity.


xo



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